Monday, April 30, 2007
just woke up after a long nap. retardedly for 6 hours?
night night didnt really manage to sleep, i lie on bed from like 1 am, i cant sleep so i try reading my ss notes, however nothing gets into my head. so i continue trying to sleep.. listened to the sound of the rain.. slept at 4 am.
today was a fine day.
paper was okay today. math paper 1& social studies.
i didnt manage to finish on time for ss. but i think its a break thru for me alr, cause i think its the first time i got so much to write. so proud of myself, i just write anyhow. i still can rmb the last para i wrote...
"In my opinion, its the different education system that is the most important reason that cause tension between the two groups in sri lanka. Learning starts from young, when children no not have the chance to interact, hostility and hatred therefore continues through generations. However, education itself is not able to cause the tension between the two groups. Other factors like divided loyalties and the housing provision also adds up to the fire.."
i know i tried my best.
save me from myself!8:09 PM
Sunday, April 29, 2007
im on the verge to cry.
just that i dont wanna make the atmosphere there, even more dull.
amazing, how humans love to lie.
but
those lies are not worth my cries.
and somehow God wants me to open my eyes.
fine, if this was what i should deserve.
realised, theres nothing to make a fuss about. it just happens all the time.
simply all the time.
im always amazed by things in my life.
my amazing and exciting life.
it just sucks lar yar.
save me from myself!6:43 PM
its a mental and physical torment.
its abt 8in the morn, i was sleeping soundly when my mum shouted at me, " today got exam you never go school again?" i screeeeeeeeeeamed. scare me. i could have died.
wa piang, then i realise its saturday. but then im shocked til im so awake alr.
started mugging lor.
its been like years since my 2 bros and me sat together after an incident.
and last christmas i rmb laughing at my 2ndbro saying that where got ppl can stand you. both bros were single. now both attached.
praise the lord.
and i discovered 1 thing abt myself today, after i drank the few glasses of champange, my face started to itch and my eyes went swollen. my bro atill laugh at me. he say i see you i just feel like laughing. he say maybe youre not alergic to the drink, its the crab(because he knows its my fav), then i shoot him, yar, im alergic to your crap. haha, then everybody laughed.
at jumbo seafood centre.
cheers for my stupidity.
its early celebration for mother's day.
you aren't me, thats why i wont try explaining.
save me from myself!12:58 AM
Friday, April 27, 2007
today was pretty bad.
how come so difficult one. ;(
paper 1 i chose the topic, ways community sevices benefit a student.
cause i cant relate to the other topics like, write about your recent shopping expedition, write about the conflicts between you and your family..
paper 2 was so so retardedly difficult, im soo nervous, that i cant think.
and i felt like pooing, thats the worst thing.
i got home feeling weird, my hands were like shivering or something, very no energy or something like that, also dont kow why. i got eat leh.
mum is like, so not understanding, im having exams if you know.
she's like screaming for the slightest thing, this and that, my dad this and that. scream for a few minutes and she realised the dark eye rings over there.
it was raining in the afternoon, didnt really want to go out,
but went damien's house and mugged together with the rest.
played with his dog.
im weird i realise. my lifes' so full weird stuffs. weird ppl.
my life sucks really. and i amazingly sucks too. i dont think i ever said that before. i think its for the first time.
get me out of this.
save me from myself!11:38 PM
Thursday, April 26, 2007
i need your grace. im falling. ):
tmr is the start of my midyear exams ler. english paper 1.
im quite stressed i think. :(
came across this test. ho. how amazing. http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/
At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a 'way out' but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquillity and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!).
hmmm. this is quiteQUITE, true. maybe its just that im a lil moody? honestly, for the moment, the big dreams small dreams i had, dont seem to matter anymore.
Enough is enough. Nothing seems to be working out as you would like it to and it has got to the stage where you feel as if you can't be bothered anymore. The way you feel is that it would be great if you could be cut off from everything and take it easy - be it only for a short time. Matters are not progressing as well as you would have hoped and you are having to make concessions - but you still believe that your goals are realistic it's just that people can't seem to see your point of view. You know what you want but you'll only accept suggestions under duress.
this hits me. also dont know what has come over me. but i felt sick, sick of everything around. and no, the problem now is that i dont even know what i really want, i dont seem to be interested with any stuff.
Nobody seems to understand you at this moment for everything you suggest or do seems to be taken up the wrong way. All of this misunderstanding is leading to anxiety and stress. The situation naturally is not as you would like it to be - you feel that you are being treated most unfairly and that trust, affection and understanding are being withheld from you and that you are being treated with a demeaning lack of consideration. You consider yourself being denied the appreciation essential to your well being and self-esteem and that there is nothing you can do about it. You feel that whatever you try to do to change the situation, you are getting nowhere fast. You would really like to get away from it all but can't find the energy or the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.
it doesnt really matter whether anyone understands or not. and for now i dont like and dont want to explain whats happening to me for now.
The tensions and stresses that you have experienced of late have been the result of trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond your capabilities. You feel completely inadequate to cope with the situation and you would like nothing better to escape from it all and to be able to relax in a problem and pressure free environment where you can do your thing.
i also dunno whether am i really stressed or just having my self pitying period. dont know.
save me from myself!5:19 PM
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
haven been in the mood to update recently,
well theres nothing much, just that ive fell down,
i cant bend my right arm and my knees.
awfully pain and i cant even wear my garments by myself.
and didnt really cry until my mum says "its as thou the world owns you"
couldnt take part in syf today but went to support. got bronze.
nothing shocking or anything.
its just like this, thou a lil disappointed. what can i say,
i didnt even take part.
and theres A & E math test tmr.
save me from myself!7:07 PM
Sunday, April 01, 2007
we love taking photos. hahas.
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todays' fine. had a haircut.
svc was short and sweet.
and we ate mushrooms. my favourite mushrooms.
took some funny photos.
went home feeling quite happy.
also thank you for listening to me. =D
save me from myself!2:28 AM
NAME: 陈美婷, FAITH(AKA JASMINE).jpg)
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